Submission / Submitting. Discuss.

This was a written task I was given by Sir in October 2016:

Submission / Submitting. Discuss.
Sir. A very interesting and pertinent topic indeed, one that stirs a lot of thoughts and emotions in me, some deep, some barely touched upon yet, and some incredibly satisfying. 

It’s a difficult thing to define accurately, I think that if you put this topic to several people there would likely be some common themes in the responses, but unless someone has actually experienced this type of submission, I think they would make assumptions about weakness, passivity, oppression and abuse. I know that I too had various degrees of misconception. 

For me, the defining characteristic of submission is that it is voluntarily and willingly given; allowing someone to take control and the feelings that that brings can be incredibly deep and powerful, and initially confusing. This is a deeply personal experience which challenges long held beliefs and misconceptions, and can unlock your fears and insecurities as well as your desires, the feeling of vulnerability can be both exciting and overwhelming. Quite why I like what I do and my limits remain out of sight. Some of the emotions can be unexpectedly strong and difficult to navigate, this is far from being a purely sexual experience, guidance, understanding and support are essential ingredients. 

There is a degree of power in the act of submission, the exchange of power itself is negotiated and has boundaries, some rigid and some shifting; respect and trust works both ways. This is undoubtedly a learning experience, both parties learn about each other as well as themselves, to some degree both parties reveal their vulnerabilities. 
From a personal point of view submission is given to an experienced, liked, respected and trusted guiding hand, indeed the level of submission itself deepens as trust increases. You offer experience, authority and protection and in return I feel a strong desire to be obedient and to please, seeking approval and the other rewards, physical and emotional that come from pleasing you. Attraction, affection and trust combine into a good and strong connection which again deepens trust. The connection is vital. The act of submitting brings with it a need to push yourself and reveals your vulnerability, without trust this just could not happen, or it would be superficial, but in the right hands this can result in great feelings of happiness and a real sense of belonging and indeed longing. 

With a need for trust comes the need to communicate properly, and this can lead to the expression of emotions, fears, fetishes, fantasies, insecurities, needs and desires which may have only rarely or may never have been voiced before, only trust and respect can truly allow this to happen. 

The resulting emotional and physical drop that occurs sometimes days after a meeting can feel isolating and difficult to reconcile emotionally, this shows the effects that what could superficially be regarded as play can have on the submissive partner, both parties need to take action to resolve this. Personally I have come to realise that the emotional aspects leave me needing reassurance, with a very basic need to feel wanted and to know that things will continue, the feelings and emotions aren’t rational, but knowing this does not limit them or their effects. Despite the lows I am more keen to continue than ever. 

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