Shaky

It’s been a funny and varied time lately, I had a lovely holiday in Greece and then discovered that I had high blood sugar and subsequently that I am a diabetic. It was a shock, to an extent, I’ve been tired for a couple of months and I knew something was going on, but I will do what I can and I will survive. Hay fever is stalking me too, a familiar summer companion.

Last weekend I met the man who made me cry, it’s been six months, I still like him, a lot, I still fancy him, a lot. I was late, my train was cancelled, (and indeed my train home the following day was also cancelled), we went for food and then back to the hotel to get changed into leathers, I was collared, and then we went to a ‘leather’ bar. It was fun, we had fun afterwards, and in the morning. I like spending time with him, I’m aware that it’ll never be enough.

The tall boots I ordered finally arrived. I absolutely love them, although I did the thing I usually do, I didn’t open the box for an hour, head full of “what if”, then the moment came and they were out and on me and I’m delighted, they fit so well. The people who matter like them.

I’ve bought pride flags, I will be purely a spectator for the local pride parade, but I want to march with the leather men at Manchester Pride in late August, so I’ll need to break my new boots in properly.

People I like have been really hurting lately, depression is such a terrible terrible thing, I can still feel it in me, it’s there, watching, and I want them to know that I care and that whatever meagre support I can offer will always be available. I’m rarely actually depressed these days, still on medication and it works for me, I know that others are not so lucky.

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