Subdrop

It’s been quite a while since I’ve had feelings like this, but then it’s been quite a while since I’ve had such good Dom/sub play with someone I was so very keen to please; the kind of attraction and connection that makes you question some of your limits.

After such a high comes the low, the brain chemistry rebalancing, the lack of sleep catching up with you.

I used to suffer from sub drop regularly when I was often taking part in more intense play. I had thought that maybe my coping mechanisms had improved, or that maybe that phase had passed, but last night it came on as an intense few hours of magnified emotions and helplessness, sleep helped little, kind words helped more. My own thoughts turned on me, gnawing away at every good thing they could find.

Here I am, 24 hours later, it’s gone and things are definitely returning to normal, but I feel odd, calm again in a body still suffering from the affects of the stress, aches and pains, a slight headache, it should be better tomorrow.

Aftercare is so important, and in my own experience sub drop mostly comes on two to three days after play, and the simplest of techniques works on me, tell me that I’m valued, wanted, and a good boy.

Need

I’m feeling an incredibly intense need to sit at a Dom’s boots, naked, collared, between his legs, his hands on me, close to him.

I haven’t done that in such a long time, it’s a completely emotional need, but then I’ve mostly been playing without a proper D/s element and I really want and miss that.

It’s great fun playing with people you enjoy playing with, but I’m a loyal and affectionate boy and the affection and encouragement is what brings out my need to please and the desire to experiment, with the right guy, some guys just don’t understand.

Thank you

I don’t always like myself very much, but a man I like and respect told me that I was “one of the kindest friendliest leathermen you will ever meet”, and then a couple of others agreed with him.

I think it’s hard to keep sight of the fact that we all have these feelings from time to time.

Thank you A, I appreciate Your kind words very much indeed x

Judging a book by its cover

Much as we like to think that we don’t do this I think we all do, the subconscious mind is always at work.

I had the pleasure of spending some real quality time with a guy that I had previously made assumptions about based almost entirely upon his demeanour and attire, ironic I know coming from a Leatherman. Turns out he is intelligent, absolutely fascinating to talk to and really pretty damn horny.

I have of course apologised. Hopefully there’s at least the beginnings of a friendship there.

Falsehoods

I know that we all lie all the time, it’s a valuable part of human nature and we do it for all sorts of reasons, some good and some bad; but sometimes it just really sticks in the craw.

There seems to be a lot of it around just now; I’ve witnessed some and have seen other people discussing others, from cat fishing to stealing pictures to trying to gain friendship in order to get access to other people, down to the plain nasty and the please shag me / give me money. The very latest I think was “I’ve always fancied you” which was unusual as I hadn’t seen him online until a couple of weeks ago, but sure, you go ahead and do what you need to do to be an online star.

Blah blah blah, I’m not sure why we bother sometimes, is this post a lie? Am I cat fishing you now? Please shag me etc.

😉

Crossing lines

Tonight I have been pondering why the leather scene can be just so hard to get into, it can be incredibly inclusive and it can also feel incredibly lonely.

Tonight I’ve talked to an online acquaintance who currently wants to hang up his gear and move on, and this is one of the people I admire, one of the people I want to be like. I’ve tried to get him not to do anything hasty and to take some time out, but otherwise I don’t know what to say, because I sometimes feel exactly the same.

It is of course the crossing lines of fun, friendship and sex. We all gather at these events with a variety of interests and experiences, hopes and expectations, and these things don’t always mix.

Berlin

Sometimes I feel a bit aimless, but that’s now three visits to Berlin where I feel like I’ve had my mind totally blown.

On Friday night I met up with the Master I have met twice before and it was as great as ever, I thought at the time that that would be the highlight of my weekend, but although it was really special there was more to come.

I have been speaking with a Berlin Dom online for a while and we had arranged to meet up and have a drink, see what happens. I met him near to Nollendorfplatz at 11pm and from that moment the conversation just flowed very easily, he was in full leathers, so was I. We went to nearby Mutschmanns where we had a drink and then he showed me around. After talking some more we moved on to New Action where again we had a drink and he showed me around.

He got me to sit, then he sat up behind me with his legs wrapped tightly around me, leaned over and said, boy you are in one of the hardest clubs in Berlin in full leathers under a spotlight and everyone can see you. There was so much kissing, I took his breath and then beer and saliva from his mouth, he licked the sweat from my face.

He asked me to go and get us beers and when I returned he was talking to a man from the south of England who he knew, before long all three of us were kissing, two at a time, three at a time, there was also a bit of nipple licking, although he remained very much in charge.

After a while we were alone again and returned to talking, drinking, kissing, intense eye contact, by 3am I was overwhelmed, my cap dripping with his spit and then his cum, he got me to take off my jacket and tie to cool down and got me water. At 3.30am we were saying goodbye, with plans to meet again at Easter. He checked that I got back to the hotel safely and that everything was okay in the morning.