Re-pride etc.

I know that I’ve not posted for a while, you think that not a lot has happened and then you look back and think oh, that’s right.

I grasped the nettle and with encouragement I started a local monthly leather social. I had no idea how it was going to go but it’s been much much better than I could have imagined, we even took part in the local pride march. My husband has been attending and has been very supportive, he’s also been hearing things which may lead to more open discussion, if he wants that. I’ve made some new friends and encouraged new guys onto the scene which is exactly what I wanted.

I’ve done a fair bit of experimentation, most of it really fairly mind blowing, I swear to god (other supreme beings may or may not be available) that I had an actual out of body experience. Some of the experiences have revolved entirely around fisting, but that’s not a casual thing. Still seeking regular play, but I know that I need a genuine connection for that. People come and go, but I cannot do all the running.

I’ve been in Manchester quite a lot lately, between the leather social and pride, where I took part in the pride march and went on a fairground ride in leather. It was slightly awkward this year, my husband was with me again, but this time my best friend wasn’t there to provide someone for him to lean on, so he was with me and my friends most of the time. It was good that he was able to meet more of my friends and to see where I hang out, but at the same time that’s my thing, my social circle. It was only a glimpse, I don’t really begrudge him that. There was some tension after I arrived back at our hotel really late on the first night, but I was as respectful and forceful when I needed to be, I hadn’t done anything wrong.

During Pride I met an absolutely stunning Dom and for the first time ever I actually spoke up and told him that I was very attracted to him and interested in finding out more, he told me the same, we had the opportunity to discuss quite a lot of things over the weekend, and I tried my best to make a good impression. I’ve been invited to meet up and play in the near future to see how we get on together, lots of possibilities, trying to stay normal and not wreck it.

I often do the sub thing of not valuing yourself as much as you should, I always described myself as introverted, but recent evidence definitely points to the contrary. People telling me that they enjoy my company means a great deal and I just might be liking myself more, apart from the fat arse.


With a little healthy encouragement I started a leather social in my city, a monthly event, the first one just happened and I met new people and really enjoyed myself. It was relaxed and friendly, exactly what I hoped it would be, what was expected to be a couple of hours turned into five.

Two guys at the social who I had previously only known online told me a story of how I inspired them to go to a gay fundraiser in full rubber, after they had seen me there the previous year in full leather, I had no idea, they even showed me pictures! That night in leather was a real moment for me as I was the only person in leather at the event, and it was the first time some friends had seen me in leather. There’s now talk of going together to the next one!

I’ve had a great day, my husband came along to support me, he doesn’t entirely understand this side of me, but his support really helped a lot.

Thank you

I don’t always like myself very much, but a man I like and respect told me that I was “one of the kindest friendliest leathermen you will ever meet”, and then a couple of others agreed with him.

I think it’s hard to keep sight of the fact that we all have these feelings from time to time.

Thank you A, I appreciate Your kind words very much indeed x

Judging a book by its cover

Much as we like to think that we don’t do this I think we all do, the subconscious mind is always at work.

I had the pleasure of spending some real quality time with a guy that I had previously made assumptions about based almost entirely upon his demeanour and attire, ironic I know coming from a Leatherman. Turns out he is intelligent, absolutely fascinating to talk to and really pretty damn horny.

I have of course apologised. Hopefully there’s at least the beginnings of a friendship there.


I know that we all lie all the time, it’s a valuable part of human nature and we do it for all sorts of reasons, some good and some bad; but sometimes it just really sticks in the craw.

There seems to be a lot of it around just now; I’ve witnessed some and have seen other people discussing others, from cat fishing to stealing pictures to trying to gain friendship in order to get access to other people, down to the plain nasty and the please shag me / give me money. The very latest I think was “I’ve always fancied you” which was unusual as I hadn’t seen him online until a couple of weeks ago, but sure, you go ahead and do what you need to do to be an online star.

Blah blah blah, I’m not sure why we bother sometimes, is this post a lie? Am I cat fishing you now? Please shag me etc.



This weekend was my first ever Manchester pride and I don’t think it will be the last, it was just so great.

I ate out with friends, I marched with friends, I drank with friends, I hugged and kissed friends, and all of the time I was head to toe in leather, and with the padlock from my old collar on my waistband.

I think I might be all walked out right now, but it was worth it.

Until next year …

Crossing lines

Tonight I have been pondering why the leather scene can be just so hard to get into, it can be incredibly inclusive and it can also feel incredibly lonely.

Tonight I’ve talked to an online acquaintance who currently wants to hang up his gear and move on, and this is one of the people I admire, one of the people I want to be like. I’ve tried to get him not to do anything hasty and to take some time out, but otherwise I don’t know what to say, because I sometimes feel exactly the same.

It is of course the crossing lines of fun, friendship and sex. We all gather at these events with a variety of interests and experiences, hopes and expectations, and these things don’t always mix.


Sometimes I feel a bit aimless, but that’s now three visits to Berlin where I feel like I’ve had my mind totally blown.

On Friday night I met up with the Master I have met twice before and it was as great as ever, I thought at the time that that would be the highlight of my weekend, but although it was really special there was more to come.

I have been speaking with a Berlin Dom online for a while and we had arranged to meet up and have a drink, see what happens. I met him near to Nollendorfplatz at 11pm and from that moment the conversation just flowed very easily, he was in full leathers, so was I. We went to nearby Mutschmanns where we had a drink and then he showed me around. After talking some more we moved on to New Action where again we had a drink and he showed me around.

He got me to sit, then he sat up behind me with his legs wrapped tightly around me, leaned over and said, boy you are in one of the hardest clubs in Berlin in full leathers under a spotlight and everyone can see you. There was so much kissing, I took his breath and then beer and saliva from his mouth, he licked the sweat from my face.

He asked me to go and get us beers and when I returned he was talking to a man from the south of England who he knew, before long all three of us were kissing, two at a time, three at a time, there was also a bit of nipple licking, although he remained very much in charge.

After a while we were alone again and returned to talking, drinking, kissing, intense eye contact, by 3am I was overwhelmed, my cap dripping with his spit and then his cum, he got me to take off my jacket and tie to cool down and got me water. At 3.30am we were saying goodbye, with plans to meet again at Easter. He checked that I got back to the hotel safely and that everything was okay in the morning.

Manchester Leather Weekend

The much anticipated leather weekend arrived, at last, I had a final nervous moment and quickly put it out of my mind to pack for the weekend ahead.

I had booked an early train to Manchester and had arranged to meet the friend I was sharing with, he had already paid me half of the cost which was very welcome. We checked in early and it gave me plenty of time to have a shower and relax a bit.

Late afternoon I got leathered up and went to register and collect my weekend wristband, there were already plenty of people I knew present and the atmosphere was good. Had a few drinks and then walked with others to the President’s Dinner at a nearby hotel. The organisers had really done a great job and they were very welcoming, we all received a glass of champagne and had our pictures taken. There was a chance to mingle and then after a short speech we had a lovely meal and got chatting to our fellow guests.

After the meal had finished we moved on to a social where I got to finally meet a very longtime close online friend, and I talked for ages with the most beautiful bearded leatherman, then we moved on to a nearby club for the Mastery event, hosted by Brew Hunter. During the next few hours I talked to quite a lot of people and watched Brew Hunter flogging a man I have seen online, it’s the first time I have ever seen anyone else being flogged, it was much harder than I have ever experienced, but it was clear that both enjoyed it and there was obvious affection involved. I had seen several Masters with their boys and although I wasn’t particularly interested in being on the floor licking boots like they were, I was jealous of what they had. I messaged Brew later online to tell him that I thought it was wonderful.

A few hours later I walked back to the hotel with a lovely chatty man from North Wales, I think we were both glad of the company.

When I got into my hotel room it was instantly clear that my roommate was snoring very heavily, it was very unexpected and I was very worried about how I was going to be able to sleep, I played around on my phone for a bit, and then the alcohol kicked in and helped me sleep.

I woke up early on the Saturday morning, the heavy snoring continued, I went back on my phone to see what was happening and got talking to a lovely younger bearded leatherman staying in a nearby hotel, he invited me over and I jumped at the chance, I got up, washed and shaved and left to meet him.

A very good time was had with a very horny man.

On my way back to my hotel for breakfast I received a text from a very good friend who hadn’t been able to make the leather weekend because his partner was very ill, his partner had died, I called him immediately, it’s so hard to know what to say, but I needed to talk to him, I very much value his friendship. The conversation turned to the snoring and he said that his Manchester hotel was still booked and that he would send me the confirmation. I called the hotel and made an excuse for not checking in the previous day and within the hour I was checked in, having picked up lunch on the way.

There weren’t any hard feelings with my roommate, he obviously understood, and we would still hangout together over the weekend.

I had a shower in my new hotel and then put some leather back on. I had a look online and saw pictures of the back of the guy who had been flogged the night before, he had some very noticeable marks. I have to admit that I was a little jealous of his experience, his connection, the marks were like a trophy.

I went to the fetish market in a nearby club and then to the LGBT foundation for a couple of the workshops. The workshops I attended were extremely good and well patronised. The first was about trust and affection in BDSM, the second was on flogging and was hosted by Brew Hunter, the third was a sort of fireside chat with a veteran of the leather scene followed by Joe King, the current Mister Leather Europe. All of the workshops were interesting and clearly demonstrated what I can only describe as good positive values.

I went off for food and met up with my roommate, then went to a social where I bumped into a lovely man who I had previously met many years before when I was a member of the gay bike club, he was in Manchester with a friend and meeting them really made my night. I went to the club night Alert! with them, leaving for my hotel at about 02:30, having connected with him online.

On Sunday morning I awoke with a hangover, I was supposed to be going on a canal cruise but really couldn’t face it, having reset my alarm several times. I arranged to meet a friend who was staying at a room along the corridor and we went to the Richmond tearooms for lunch, I was in full leathers. Afterwards we went to the Eagle for Sunday Service with La Voix, she’s extremely funny, I would thoroughly recommend catching her show if you can.

I went with a small group to get coffee and some food to soak up the afternoon drinks and then to my hotel for a shower and a rest. I dressed again and headed out to the final club night, Joe King’s meat up! Where again I met and talked to some people I knew and some others I hadn’t spoken to before, including what turned out to be a nice guy I had previously spoken to online. I left the club at about 01:00 and went to the Black Eagle for a final drink before returning to my hotel.

The leather weekend itself was essentially over, I had met and talked to some stunningly handsome leathermen, I’d met old friends and made several new ones. I only got to play once, I could have played more if I had gone to the darkrooms, but it just didn’t feel right for me then. I’m so pleased that I went, overall it was a great experience and it gave me a lot of confidence. The club president said to me that although he had said that I could hangout with them, he knew that I would find my feet and that they would hardly see me.

On the Monday morning I was up, showered, and out to meet a friend for breakfast in the hotel, he then left to catch a train and I returned to my room to pack. I got a message from another friend to say that he was in town, so I dropped my suitcase off at a left luggage place and we went for a drink, followed by a browse around town, then Clonezone and Manworx. Outside Clonezone I met the most beautiful handsome bearded leatherman who I had spoken to for ages on the Friday night, not in his leathers this time though, I know I’m not his type, but we had so much in common and he was a genuinely nice guy.

I went to the station, bought some sandwiches for lunch on the train and had another drink with my friend and then I caught a mid afternoon train home. The train was delayed by over an hour on the way, but I wasn’t bothering too much as I was still on a high, enjoying the pictures and chats online and connecting with lots of new friends so that I can keep in touch.

Late that night I could feel event related drop coming on, but just as I was about to go to bed Sir came online, He had been on holiday with His husband and they were at the airport awaiting their flight home. We talked for over an hour and it made the event drop go away almost entirely. I told Him all of my weekend stories, wished Him a good flight and told Him that I missed Him.

On the Tuesday evening I was delighted to receive requests to connect online with the two most beautiful leathermen, the guy I had met at his hotel on the Saturday morning and the guy I had last seen outside Clonezone on the Monday afternoon, a nice happy conclusion to a very memorable weekend.

Friends and the inner circle.

I used to sort of pretend to myself that friends weren’t that important, you need to lie to yourself when you’re depressed, and lonely, and low, and self isolated, but really they matter a lot.

I have had a small circle of very close friends fora while, they’re the kind of people you could probably tell anything, and that’s amazing, but I’ve known for a while that I needed to try to increase and diversify that circle.

I suppose I’m a bit of an introvert, probably more on the edge of it rather than right in there, I do like to talk to people, I don’t like being alone for too long and I occasionally have to cope with this when my husband is away for several weeks at a time. I’m well aware that proper friends make all the difference.

Since I first started going to leather socials I have tried hard to speak to people and everyone has been very nice, there’s now a few people I regularly speak to online, and a few that I’ve come to really appreciate because you know that they genuinely want to interact with you, and it’s something I’m really very happy about. We have some things in common and there comes a point when people become an important and cherished part of your life.

I read someone I know online saying that some leather events were hard because there was an inner circle (a crowd, in his words) and it felt cold if you were on the outside of that, and I can absolutely agree with that, but I need to keep trying because the friendships and experiences are so important to me. One of the reasons I started going to the leather socials was because I knew that if I turned up at the leather weekend without knowing anyone in advance that it would be far more difficult to navigate and enjoy, a sea of awkward small talk.

I won’t get too soppy, I do want to find people to play with too, and I think that’s the hardest part of the inner circle to access.