Broken

I’m not coping with this, I know that shielding is necessary but it is gradually breaking me.

I’m sleeping way too much, more out of boredom and stress than actual need, and my sleep pattern is absolutely screwed, I could probably fix it, but I don’t want to.

It’s now only work and an online social thing each week that is getting me through this, otherwise I’ve a low attention span, I’m lethargic and apathetic. At least I’m not suicidal, I’m probably too lethargic.

I really really miss proper intimacy and that need to feel wanted is tearing a hole in me. It’s not even a need for sex anymore.

Friends say that they want you to talk to them, but that’s not always easy, I think I need to reach a really low point before I can ask for help, and if you do that too often it feels like you’re going to be seen as that freak who needs help too often, I’ve definitely learnt that that repels sexual partners.

2 thoughts on “Broken

  1. You are not alone with your feelings. While I live with my long time partner, we sleep separately and don’t have sex. I am really craving some skin on skin contact, not especially sex.

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