I used to sort of pretend to myself that friends weren’t that important, you need to lie to yourself when you’re depressed, and lonely, and low, and self isolated, but really they matter a lot.
I have had a small circle of very close friends fora while, they’re the kind of people you could probably tell anything, and that’s amazing, but I’ve known for a while that I needed to try to increase and diversify that circle.
I suppose I’m a bit of an introvert, probably more on the edge of it rather than right in there, I do like to talk to people, I don’t like being alone for too long and I occasionally have to cope with this when my husband is away for several weeks at a time. I’m well aware that proper friends make all the difference.
Since I first started going to leather socials I have tried hard to speak to people and everyone has been very nice, there’s now a few people I regularly speak to online, and a few that I’ve come to really appreciate because you know that they genuinely want to interact with you, and it’s something I’m really very happy about. We have some things in common and there comes a point when people become an important and cherished part of your life.
I read someone I know online saying that some leather events were hard because there was an inner circle (a crowd, in his words) and it felt cold if you were on the outside of that, and I can absolutely agree with that, but I need to keep trying because the friendships and experiences are so important to me. One of the reasons I started going to the leather socials was because I knew that if I turned up at the leather weekend without knowing anyone in advance that it would be far more difficult to navigate and enjoy, a sea of awkward small talk.
I won’t get too soppy, I do want to find people to play with too, and I think that’s the hardest part of the inner circle to access.